Oops!

I feel for the guy in this story. Some poor guy, just walking along in a museum in Britain, trips over his shoelace and smashes a couple of priceless Chinese vases. That's the sort of thing I've always walked around afraid of doing. I'm a bit on the clumsy side (thanks to the Olson genes), and I've had my share of trips and falls in front of people. Why is that you just feel so stupid for doing something that's pretty much out of your control? Probably because it's just plain funny when someone falls, or hits their head. So you know you would laugh if it was someone else.

I think I get most of my clumsiness from my Uncle Karl, whose birthday happens to be today. So thanks for that, Uncle, and happy birthday!

A Bit of Perspective

I've been a more-than-casual news junkie since I was in junior high, and I think I've become pretty knowledgeable about a lot of the things that go on in our country, if not the rest of the world too. So I've known for a long time that congressional hearings are pretty much just public political masturbation. They're not really supposed to accomplish anything, just a lot of posturing for their constituents on the issue du jour. I mean, was it really necessary to spend our tax dollars holding hearings on steroids in baseball? I'm as disappointed as anyone in what's happened to baseball, but in the grand scheme of things, is it really worth it?

So it should come as much of a surprise to see Congress today holding hearings on mine safety (that's Tom Harkin in the picture showing a messaging system that should be in all mines). Don't get me wrong--it is extremely sad that those 14 men have died this month in mine accidents (12 in the Sago mine, 2 more this past week). I do have great sympathy for them and their families, and I know it's a real blow to the communities. But at the risk of sounding like a complete jerk (not the first time), let's try to get a little perspective here.

In the first 3 weeks of 2006, 14 men have died in these two coal mining incidents in the U.S. In 2005, 22 coal miners died in the U.S., continuing a steady decline in the number of mining deaths year over year. It's still the second most dangerous profession (percentage-wise I guess). In China, over 5000 coal miners died in 2005, but they've got a lot more to go around, and we hardly want to compare ourselves to China.

But how about some other numbers to put a little perspective on that one?

In the same first 3 weeks of 2006, 49 U.S. servicemen and women were killed in Iraq, along with 11 civilians, and 20 more in Afghanistan. So that's 80 people dead in those same 3 weeks, and that's just the Americans. It wasn't easy even finding this information. Wonder why?

But that's an old story--no point fighting against the war anymore, right? How about some other numbers?

On average, in the U.S. over the course of three given weeks...

1000 people die in handgun incidents

1000 people die in traffic accidents

Last time Congress had a chance to address gun control, they wouldn't even uphold a ban on automatic rifles, much less do anything to control the handguns and hunting rifles that caused most of those deaths. And I don't think they're in any hurry to make auto manufacturers add safety features to their cars that could help save some of those folks.

But that's still penny-ante. I'm shooting higher. Let's be global for a minute, go big-picture. Say 25 miners die this year, allowing for a couple more unfortunate accidents, following the pattern of the last several. So 25 for the year. Throw those poor Chinese fuckers, another 5000, and let's just guesstimate that in the other countries that mine coal, probably another couple thousand, round it all up to 8000. Seems like a lot, right? But in the same given year...

3 million people will die of AIDS

5 million people will die of smoking-related disease

9 million people will die of hunger

Yes, those are all millions. I'm sure hearings have been held on those issues, but you don't hear much about it, and they sure haven't done anything about it. I didn't even mention the relatively smaller yet still significant genocides the Congress has ignored over the years--the Balkans, Rwanda, the Congo, Darfur.

You know, I'll give Tom Harkin up there a pass on this issue. His father was a coal miner, so he's sensitive to the issue. But ol' Robert Byrd there to the left gets no such pass, even though he's from West Virginia. He's a typical political grandstander, just standing up there pandering to his constituents, making them feel like he's focused on the issues that matter to them. Well, he's wasting our time, money and potential to actually accomplish something.

I realize it's a pointless argument. Even if the Congress spent all their time meeting about things that really mattered in the world, they still can't really do anything besides blow hot air. It's just depressing that nobody even bothers to talk about the things that really matter.

I suppose there's something to the idea that people just can't process the concept of millions of people dying. We can only deal with death on a personal, individual level. When things get too big, we start to lose the perspective and tune out. Even when it's not half a world away, even when it's right in our own backyard.

You know, this sounded a lot better in my head this morning, way more impactful. Maybe it was that I couldn't gather all the stats I wanted to. I suppose I could have, but what do you expect? It's not like I'm getting paid for this.

Hell in a handbasket

Not sure who the broad in this picture is, but it was the best hell-in-a-handbasket image I could find on Google (well, on page 1, I don't have all day). I felt like I should post tonight, but nothing too particular jumped to mind. But I did get the overall sense from the Daily Show and Al Franken and my CNN mobile updates that we (being the U.S.) are generally fucked. But before I go into, let me give a shout-out (how old school of me) to Katia, who is the ONLY person who reads this blog and bothers to leave comments, and she's all the way in Malta. So THANK YOU KATIA, and all your little furry nieces here miss their Auntie K.

So we're still pretty much screwed. Why you ask? Is it because we have a Congress that won't convene for another 3 weeks while information continues to emerge about how our President (sorry, YOUR president, not mine) authorized the FBI and NSA to spy on Americans' phone calls and emails trying to find al Qaeda? Is it because the man who orchestrated the only attack on American soil in 200 years just said in a tape that he's planning to do it again (actually that was about 2 months ago that he said it, so they're probably a little ways along)? Is it because our Justice Department's main goal right now seems to be getting ahold of Google search records to find people who look for porn online (okay, they say they're going after child porn, which obviously I totally support stamping out, but knowing the way they think, I fear for anyone who likes even the normal kind of porn)?

Sure it's all of those things, plus so many more. You know, it's just hard to have a positive outlook on our country when there's so many assholes in charge. I think this is what I feared when George W. Dickhead won in 04--the end seems so far away. And right now, I'm not even confident that it will change then. We're just stuck in this hopeless stretch where they can do anything they want and we're totally powerless. It would really be cool if something dramatic happened in the Congressional elections this fall--I mean, think about it, ALL 435 (I think it's still 435) seats are open, and while it's uncommon for anything wild to happen, don't forget 1994 when Gingrich's Republicans swept in their first majority (that was the beginning of the end). There's a LOT of discontent out there among people, and House races can be wild. Getting control of the House back would be really good for the good guys. I'm not sure how many Senate seats are up (too tired to do the research), but probably enough to swing the majority there too. Wouldn't that be great if we got both, and we could really fuck with the administration for the next 2 years?

Problem is, people have such short attention spans, we lose focus on the things which matter. Lots of people were starting to get really pissed off about the way last year, but then it was taken off our radar. I think there are actually people out there who believe that we went to war in Iraq originally to bring them freedom and democracy, and that it was worth all the people we lost. But guess what, if you didn't pay attention, you'll probably have another chance soon, since we're probably going straight from there into Iran. Notice how the administration is starting to take the same tone about letting the UN manage this whole atomic energy crisis there. Saying how no matter negotiations are made, you can't trust Iran. Anyone want to put money on the fact that if we DID invade there, we would end up finding no trace of weapons of mass destruction? Of course, the difference is, we'd LOSE if we invaded Iran. Sorry to sound unpatriotic. I believe in our military and (most) of the people who actually do the fighting, but the problem is that the jackasses in charge won't make the right plans (which in this case is, don't fucking invade Iran!) and won't make the right commitments, and this time, the shit's going to hit the fan on the way in, not a year after.

Anyway, got off on a tangent there. Felt good. It's cathartic, like any blog should be. I feel better. Time to finish off the last bottle of wine in the house, watch SNL tonight, and have a totally lazy, pointless Sunday. Cheers all.

Culture of Life?

Wow, I knew it had been a while since I posted, but 8 days is pretty bad. Talk about slacking. Actually, not really, I've just been distracted with other stuff, and not much has ruffled my feathers enough to post here.

But I read something yesterday that just tweaked me, and then got me thinking in that way that at first seems really profound, and then I realize I'm probably like the 10,396th person to think this, but even so, I have to say it. I was reading an article about the Supreme Court's decision to uphold a law in Oregon allowing physician-assisted suicide. Actually, what they're allowing to continue is that a doctor (in Oregon) can prescribe an overdose of regular medication to a critically ill patient that will allow them to die peacefully. It's not even that weird suicide machine thing that Kevorkian had, the doctor doesn't have to do anything except recognize that this poor person is so sick that they would rather end their life than continue in pain and suffering. Sounds noble, right?

Frankly, I think anyone who disagrees with the idea that each person has a right to choose when they die is a douchebag. And the fact that my father chose to end his life when I was 10 (because he couldn't handle his impending divorce and all that) and that his choice has affected my entire life, mostly in a negative way, and yet I still believe everybody has the right to choose their time and method of death, I think that says something. To argue that a critically ill person should not be allowed to elect to die is absolutely cruel. Allowing a doctor to make that decision easier and legal is simply humane.

So here's where I get tripped up. In that article, look for Scott McClellan's quote. Here, I'll snip it for you: "The president remains fully committed to building a culture of life, a culture of life that is built on valuing life at all stages." I'm SO tired of this "culture of life" crap. It seems to apply to fetuses and critically ill people. If you're anywhere in between, you're still fucked, especially if you're between 18 and 32 and can carry a rifle in the desert. It's really hypocritical to me that the same people who say life is sacred are willing to throw away 2100+ lives for no reason.

But more than that, what I really don't get is WHY the religious right is so concerned with the "culture of life". Isn't one of the basic tenets of Christianity that the afterlife is going to be way better than this life, as long as you're a good Christian, or you let them dunk you in the water, or whatever? So why the reluctance to let someone go join Jesus? Wouldn't an aborted fetus go to heaven, or do they still believe in original sin? I thought the Catholics got rid of limbo, so unbaptized babies get to go to heaven now. Wouldn't Jesus welcome someone who had spent years suffering from some disease and just wanted relief and peace? Seems awfully dick-y of him to say that they're sinning by choosing to come live with him. Who knew he was such a douche?

You know, I would think that we atheists would be the ones who would be so worried about preserving life--we're fucked once we're dead. I'm going straight to hell (especially after this post), right? And yet, we all believe that people have the right to choose the terms of their life, including when it's time to end it. I know for me, even though I don't know what awaits us after the curtain comes down on this life, I'm not worried about it. I'd like to enjoy this life as much and as long as I can, but when it becomes more of a struggle than a pleasure, I'd like to drop out and move on to my next one, thank you very much. Frankly, I'm looking forward to coming back as a dog, or maybe a bird--flying would be wicked cool.

"I'm Proud to be a Roy"

It was like a little Christmas for me all over again tonight. My years of hoping and wishing that someone on a reality show would be named "Roy" (see here for background) have finally paid off. Tonight's "Wife Swap" featured the Roy family, a bunch of self-proclaimed "mountain rednecks" from the hill country of California. They were pretty rude and crude, farting and belching enough to make even me a little queasy. But hearing the narrator say "and back at the Roy house" was enough to make me giggle over and over. He even called the kids the "Roy Boys". But the best part, the penultimate, was when the 15-year-old Roy Boy had his little growing-up moment and said "I'm proud to be a Roy". I almost choked.

While I'm mentioning funny names, I have to say "Bob Loblaw". Say it with me. For the vast majority of humanity who have refused to watch "Arrested Development" (even thought it's the funniest new show in years), that's the name of Scott Baio's character, their lawyer. It's so silly, yet you can't say the name without laughing. They upped the ante on a recent episode when he talked about working on his website, "Bob Loblaw's Law Blog". It's a real shame that show is getting cancelled by Fox, but we're hopeful it'll get picked up by Showtime. The wife and I crack each other up just by saying "Bob Loblaw" to each other.

So my self-created long weekend comes to an end. Definitely a good idea. This whole new thing of us sleeping till noon every day certainly cuts into weekend time, but there really just isn't any better feeling than staying up as late as you feel like and knowing you don't have to go anywhere in the morning. Of course, it would be ever BETTER if one of us didn't have to wake up by 6:30 to feed the dogs, but it's a small price to pay. That's all the beagle's fault--the other two would let us sleep in, but she won't have it. So I get one more short week of work, and then three full weeks before we go to NYC in February. I'm surprisingly okay that the wife is taking us to see Ricky Martin in concert. For one thing, it's at Radio City Music Hall, which I've never been to, so that's cool. For two, he does put on a good show from what I've seen. For three, it's New York, how can you go wrong? We're staying at the Warwick again, since we've been burned by trying other hotels, and we're going to pick out a good restaurant in advance this time.

Ugh. I hate when my post winds down with a whimper rather than a bang. I was so excited to post about the Roys, but I really had nothing after that. Oh well, almost time for Jon Stewart.

Love a long weekend

The only thing better than realizing on Saturday night that I still have another "free" night is realizing on Friday night that I have two more. I cheated and gave myself another three-day weekend by taking Monday off. Why? Because I feel like it, and I literally have 291 vacation hours (that's over 7 weeks) saved up, and I want another day to sit around and do nearly nothing with the dogs. So between that, a bottle of Little Penguin Cabernet (not all me, the wife shared!), and watching Wedding Crashers on DVD, I feel pretty good tonight. Plus my cat is molesting me in a cute way, which always makes me feel warm and fuzzy (and itchy).

Speaking of Wedding Crashers--wicked funny. Vince Vaughan cracks me up. If you get IFC, look for episodes of Dinner for Five that he's on. He genuinely seems that funny in real life from that. Which makes the wife and I hpoe he and Jennifer really are together. Which is weird, because I had a dream this morning where I was really good friends with Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox Arquette (they seemed to actually be my friends Kerrie and Becah), and we were like trying to get Jennifer to tell us if she and Vince were really together.

Oh, one more point on Wedding Crashers--confessional time. I'm offically adding Rachel McAdams to my list--I'll even relaminate it for her (those of you who remember that Friends episode from Season 3 know what I mean). We saw The Family Stone last week, and I confessed to the wife afterwards that I found her (Rachel) incredibly attractive in it, and she concurred that she was quite striking. And she did not disappoint in Wedding Crashers. Funny thing is, I didn't really make much note of her in Mean Girls--she's one of those girls who's actually far more attractive as a brunette than a blonde. Anyway, my favorite part in Family Stone was the last scene, where it's a year later, because she's wearing pajamas and facing away from the camera, and lo and behold, she's got some junk in the trunk! I mean, some real badonkadonk (sp?). Anyway, she's a beautiful girl, and so far, quite engaging in the movies I've seen her in (great smile, great ass, what more can you ask for?).

While I'm recommending random media, go listen to the new Depeche Mode single Precious. It's rapidly grown on me over the last few weeks, especially since I heard that Dave Gahan (lead singer who rarely writes songs for them) wrote the lyrics for his kids during his recent divorce.
Read these lyrics. Any parent who's ever put their kids through a divorce should seriously be thinking this, if not letting it affect their decision. But don't get me started on that. Anyway, really good song, way to stay relevant and original after 25 years. I remember when I was stupid enough to call Depeche Mode "faggy" (you can be really unintentionally ignorant in junior high). But then I realized I actually liked the songs I was making fun of, and then Violator came out and Enjoy the Silence became one of my favorite songs ever, so there you go. Changing your mind is cool.

Anyway, that's all for now. Just felt like sharing the buzz while it's here and I'm still awake. And for the few who happen to actually still read this blog, thanks. K, if you happen to stop by, say hi--we all miss you here!

STFU

For those not in the know, that means "shut the fuck up". I direct that at Hannah Storm and all the other "newspeople" who are spending today and probably days to come yammering about the dead miners in West Virginia and asking their poor families "how it feels".

I was overjoyed last night to find that the Daily Show was back from hiatus. After reruns Monday and Tuesday, I figured they were going to be off till next week, which was very depressing. But lo and behold, there was Jon with a new episode, and right off the bat, he managed to crystallize my feelings in a totally spot-on and still funny way. He made a few awkward comments about how tragic the whole thing is, which is understandable because only an asshole could be glib about something that awful, and then he mentioned how the 24-hour news networks had spent two days covering the event with virtually no information to convey, and then told them to either "stop it" or "leave them alone", "them" being the families. Sorry I can't remember his exact words, but he said something like "what are you going to do, ask them how it feels?"

Sure enough, happened to see a bit of the Early Show on CBS this morning, and there was Hannah Storm asking the wife of one of the miners "how does it feel"? How fucking obnoxious can they be?? What possible purpose does it serve for them to be asking those types of questions? Is it enriching the public knowledge? Is it making the families feel better to rehash the same awful memories over and over for each network? The answer to those questions is no--anyone who disagrees is a douchebag. Sorry, but that's what I think.

I tend to forget how truly repulsive the "news" has become. I really don't watch much anymore. Didn't used to be that way. When I was in junior high, I would get up early just so I could watch the 6AM NBC news. I used to like catching the evening news with Brokaw or Jennings, but then they stopped covering news and started focusing on where my money was being stolen or what was going to kill me. I've turned to MSNBC or CNN during the big events--following 9/11, during the start of the Iraq war, the hurricanes this year--but each time I see more and more how pointless and masturbatory their "coverage" has become. We may have live feeds from everywhere and immediate coverage, but we have no journalism. The Daily Show did a wicked montage of their coverage of that shooting at the Miami airport a few weeks ago where they basically spent hours showing external footage of the plane and telling everyone that nobody really knew what happened. Really? Then get off the air!! More time is spent describing how we don't know what's going on, or guessing or theorizing, than is spent reporting the actual story.

I try to read the Sunday NY Times each week to see what's big or interesting, and I usually read MSNBC's site during lunch, and the CNN site in the john (love my Treo), and that's about it. The rest is all a waste of time. Just really disgusting.