Ready to Rant

Okay, I think I'm sufficiently caffeinated this morning to give voice to the various things that have pissed me off in the last few days. Hold on tight.

• What is with all of the slow, oblivious people out there in the world? And why are they always driving or walking in front of me? I swear, this morning I stopped when pulling into my parking lot at work to let two people cross from their cars to the building, and they started walking down the parking lot IN FRONT OF MY CAR! Are the schools no longer teaching the "get the fuck out of my way" concept? Why does everyone seem to think that wherever they're going is more important than where I'm going and they're free to take their goddamn time about it? Or is it that they're not thinking? It's not just cell phone users, it's people who are ostensibly doing nothing other than walking/driving, and yet are still completely oblivious to their surroundings and how their sluggishness is impacting ME and dragging down the productivity of our country.
  
• I'm so sick of hearing these "socialism" digs being thrown at Barack. Hey, guess what Republican idiots--socialism is GOOD! Spread the fucking wealth around and maybe you'll be spared when the revolution comes. We could do a lot worse than to move ever so slightly in the direction that Europe has over the last 50 years. I'm going to wear my hammer & sickle CCCP t-shirt to the polls next week just to see if I can piss someone off.
  
• And if anybody out there STILL thinks that Sarah Palin is just "one of the regular folks", you're a moron. As if it wasn't obvious enough before that she was simply pandering to the stupid mouthbreathing droolers who go to her rallies before NASCAR events, now we learn that the campaign has spent over $150,000 on her wardrobe to make her look like a "regular person". Look, walk the fucking talk or shut the fuck up. If she was really committed to supporting Joe the Plumber and Madge the Target Clerk and Bubba the Turd Miner, she would have made the campaign buy her clothes at Target or Wal-Mart or somewhere that normal people shop. I've noticed they've been making her wear her hair down lately, instead of that ridiculous bun on top of her head that she started with. But she's still just barely a notch below Cindy McCain (she of the $300,000 Convention wardrobe). Honestly, how can she stand there in a thousand-dollar suit from Neimann-Marcus and talk about how she feels at home among people in Carhartts and trucker hats? Shouldn't she be bursting into flames right about now if her beliefs are to be believed?
  
• And people who are still undecided... I just don't know what to say. Katia sent us a fabulous excerpt from a David Sedaris article in the New Yorker (which I'm eager to read tonight):
  

  I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?
  
  To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
  
  To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
  

  
  As always, you need go no further than the Daily Show to find a perfect portrayal of the issue.
  
  
• Hang on a second, there was something else pissing me off... oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me. Thanks for listening.