To Xmas or Not

I've been a bit conflicted since my last post where I basically shrugged off Christmas. Apparently there's a part of me that doesn't entirely want to let it go. At first I worried that I was just being influenced by the corporate Christmas machine, but as I almost reveled in my disgust for all of the ads and sales and promotions encouraging people to go deeper into debt just to buy more presents, I decided that wasn't it. Then I thought maybe I was just being swept along by the general population's notion that Christmas just IS and if you don't go along, something is wrong with you. But then I remembered that I loathe 99% of the general population and the last thing I'm going to do is go along with them. So I was left with it being some spark of Christmas spirit left inside me, which I took as a good thing.

That spark has grown a bit defiant as I've noodled this idea over the last few days. It wants to reclaim Christmas for myself and my family as I see it, not as the rest of the world sees it. It's got a bit of a "fuck-you" attitude to it, saying that we're going to make Christmas whatever the hell we want it to be. After all, that's how it all started, when the Catholics decided to combine a bunch of other religions' holidays to help their followers coalesce in the Dark Ages. To me, it's a fluid concept.

The problem is that to a large extent, my enjoyment of Christmas has always been about the "season"--I enjoy the long stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas, not particularly the day itself. And enjoying that time depends largely on what's going on around me. It has to do with a general sense of being in the season, of having brief experiences that reconnect with something familiar from the past, or something cool I've seen in a movie (like walking in Central Park in the snow). And as the season itself becomes more and more annoying and crass, it's harder to enjoy that. Not to mention that working in a retail company where everyone loses their shit for the entire month of December and every little thing becomes a crisis, well, that takes some of the fun out of it. So basically, everyone else is ruining it for me.

My internal notion of Christmas has always been largely influenced by movies and TV (like everything else in my life). There are vignettes of other places and times that patch together to form the image and thought of what Christmas SHOULD be in my mind, none of which will ever be my reality. Thanks a lot Hollywood. But those things do help reconnect me to a feeling of familiarity, a sense that it IS Christmas, so I do my best every year to watch what I can.

I'm sad to know that tonight will be the last ER Christmas episode ever. For 15 years, ER has been my favorite alternate reality. I started watching it from the start, in 1994, when it seemed very possible that could be my life (still hadn't failed to get into med school then). An exciting career, a cool city, ER offered all that to my imagination. And the Christmas episodes almost always create that perfect, snow-covered, trapped-inside-so-we-better-make-the-best-of-it atmosphere along with some moving story that would make me cry like a girl. When the snow stops falling on County General each year, I'm always a bit disappointed--fictional Chicago in the winter is one of my favorite places.

Happy Fucking Festivus

I'm so over Christmas already this year. Actually, I never got UNDER it, I just can't do it this time around. Despite the positivity and happiness I have experienced thanks to Barack's win, everything else in the world just blows goats. I'm sick and tired of being reminded of how shitty the economy is on a daily basis. I'm already on my last nerve with the people at work who insist about panicking about every little tiny problem that comes up, and who cling to the pointless hope that people are suddenly going to decide they need to buy more useless shiny crap from us when they can't make their mortgage payments. Business is going to suck, we know that, get over it and move on!

And frankly, reading about the mouthbreathing scumbags who trampled that poor man to death in a Wal-Mart and then KEPT FUCKING SHOPPING pushed me over the edge. If that's what people have made Christmas about, wanting a bargain so bad they're willing to kill somebody, then I'm done. Game over. F Christmas.



I said jokingly a few years ago that I was going to just start celebrating Festivus from now on. I even made a Festivus pole, which was not only cleaner than a tree but much more practical with four cats. But now I'm serious. I'm done clinging to a notion of Christmas that I find more and more elusive every year. Might as well just chuck it and start over.

The thing is, Christmas for me was always a somewhat squishy concept. Being a non-religious person and smart enough to understand that it was NEVER actually the birth of Christ, the religious aspect of it meant nothing to me. Although I must say, the STORY of it had an appeal as a kind of beautiful myth, and Mom instilled in me an appreciation for the ceremony and poignance of that aspect, even if it meant little personally to me.

Of course, presents played a big role when I was a kid. I do still remember the greatest Christmas gifts I got (the Millennium Falcon, the Lego Castle set), as well as the year I so dickishly shunned my dad's gift of a little woodworker's set (which he gave me because I had been his little helper remodeling the garage). But that's just stuff, and as the years have worn on, I only really enjoy giving gifts to my wife, and even that is often undermined by the reality of not being able to afford what I want to give. Too often, gift-giving becomes some obligatory exercise where you end up exchanging things with someone that they either don't need or could buy themselves. And I hate the obligatory nature of it to begin with.

So for the most part, Christmas was about certain traditions for me, things that reminded me of times when I felt comfortable and safe and at home. Some were traditional, like decorating our tree or learning to play carols on our piano, and others were non-traditional, like my brother and I watching Trading Places every year. Over the years as I moved around the country and experienced Christmas with palm trees, I clung to some of those traditions to maintain that connection. But I realize that you can't perpetuate traditions forever. You have to file them away as memories and appreciate them for what they WERE, but trying to recreate them every year is only going to prove disappointing. Just look at every Christmas comedy movie ever made, they're all about trying to create the "perfect" Christmas and failing.

Maybe when we have kids of our own, we'll reclaim Christmas to some extent, if they want to, as a fun time of year, but we'll be sure to teach them the truth about it (it's a pagan holiday that the Christians stole, Santa Claus is real until you're 10, and Jingle Bell Rock is the best Christmas song ever). They'll learn that you get gifts if somebody wants to give them, not because you're entitled. We'll sit by the fire and cuddle the dogs and watch A Christmas Story over and over and I'll tell them that once upon a time Christmas didn't involve trampling someone to death just to save 30% on a fucking TV.

Nerd-vana

Sorry I've been away for a while. I guess I've been riding a wave of elation after we finally won. Not to mention the fact that since the 13th, I've been neck-deep in the greatest videogame event since Asteroids hit the Atari 2600--the World of Warcraft expansion Wrath of the Lich King. Yes, I am that big of a nerd. I am completely and happily addicted to this fantastic game, and after a long wait, we've got a ton of new quests to complete, levels to gain and areas to explore. Sadly, it's going a lot quicker than I'd expected, but the beauty and genius of this game is that there's an almost infinite amount of things to do.

See, that's my main character (unsurprisingly named Jarviswabi) with one of my pets. I play a Hunter as my main class, which may seem counter-intuitive at first given my love of animals, but what it means is that I tame wild beasts to be my companions and gain my greatest powers from training those animals. Aside from the usual videogame mechanics, the best part of the game is the social aspect. I play online with thousands of other people from around the world (actually millions if you want to get technical), and the people in my guild (the one I play with most frequently) are a great bunch of people. What we do involves a whole level of organization and teamwork beyond your typical gaming experience and has been an extremely challenging and rewarding venture for me.

So that's why I haven't been blogging much lately, I've been indulging my nerdiest impulses (with the gracious blessing and indulgence of my wife). I'm sure there will be plenty to piss me off in the days ahead and I'll be back to ranting like a maniac again soon.

WOOT!!!!!

I am very happy today. I could be happier--Al Franken is still down about 600 votes in Minnesota's Senate race and will probably go to a recount, and it was looking last night like Prop 8 was actually going to pass in California and ban gay marriage, which is absolutely ridiculous. So there is still work to do, but at least now we will have the right person in charge to start snapping the rest of America out of its ignorance.

I'm very pleased that Indiana went blue this year--I'm proud of you hicks out there. I'm happy that the electoral map looks a lot more mixed than it did in 2004. It's nice to see some blue intruding into those big Western states, and that swath of blue spanning from Maine to Minnesota is very nice.

I was very inspired and moved by Barack's speech last night, and can only imagine what it must be like for black people to see him there in that position. I think this moves our country forward in a quantum leap. It by no means fixes our past ills, and will probably expose some ugliness that has lain dormant for a while, but it certainly moves us closer to walking our talk.

Now on to an issue near and dear to my heart... Barack said that Sasha and Malia would be getting a puppy last night. I really really really hope that he and Michelle are smart enough to recognize that they need to adopt a dog from a shelter or rescue group and set an example for America that people need to stop paying for dogs and cats and start adopting the millions of pets in need of a home. If they do that, I will be overjoyed and officially in love with Barack.

Reason #374 Why San Francisco is My Favorite Place in the World

There's a measure on the ballot next week in San Francisco (Proposition R) to rename the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Plant to The George W. Bush Sewage Plant. The folks who gathered over 12,000 signatures to get the measure on the ballot said it was intended... "To honor our current leader of the free world with an appropriate and enduring legacy, for no other president in modern American history has accomplished so much in such a short time." You can almost hear the sarcasm dripping off that sentence.

This is why I love my City and will forever call myself a San Franciscan no matter how long it takes for us to move back there.

Could It Really Be Happening?

After we watched Barack's infomercial last night (it was predictable but well-done), Diana turned to me and said something like "I'm just starting to realize this might really be happening". There is still a bit of disbelief in me, despite everything I've been reading and seeing lately. Daily Kos's electoral projections have it as wide as 357-181 for our side, which is awesome. That assumes Indiana will not go our way (shame on you Indiana!) as well as North Carolina, and we have a decent chance of picking up one or the other. That DOES assume Florida and Ohio go our way, which is the trend at this point. But regardless, it does seem to be a done deal at this point. Early voting is overwhelmingly in our favor, and unless everyone becomes a racist in the booth next Tuesday, we should be good. I guess now we can stop looking into moving to New Zealand.

Two of the top executives at my company have separately told me in recent weeks that they've finally decided to vote for Barack, despite being long-time Republican supporters (both voted for W TWICE!). And it comes down to my favorite reason among many--the man is brilliant. He is one of the most intelligent public servants to cross the national stage in a long time, and he is far and away the best at communicating with people in a way that's both relatable and conveys that he knows what the hell he's talking about. All this nonsense about "elitism" seems to finally be crumbling as a valid political argument. Why would you NOT want a highly educated person who is more intelligent than 99% of the country making those critical decisions? Of course, I still hear ignorant cows in our cafeteria saying "I think I'm just going to flip a coin when I get in the booth". You should not be allowed to vote. In fact, I revoke your rights.

Speaking of stupid, this socialism argument is getting old fast. Did I miss something or did they take one comment Barack makes about "spreading the wealth" and turn that into an accusation of socialism? Hello, the government is all about spreading the wealth in one form or another. Unless you are a strict libertarian who would eliminate ALL taxation and stop the government from spending money on ANYTHING, you're spreading the wealth. I think most people are smart enough to see through that argument, although there's always someone to disprove that point. Some asshat was standing by the off-ramp today on my way to work holding up a sign that said "Socialism is Un-American: NOBAMA". He was wearing some sort of mask, not sure who he was supposed to be, besides a douche.

I got a little bit of that tingle last night watching the show. I feel a bit closer to Barack--I can identify with him being smarter than the class and having big ears that people made fun of. I got excited to think that there were enough like-minded people out there to make this happen. And I got a little scared (thanks to the Laraine side of my personality) that something awful is going to happen. You know there's those people out there, hopefully they won't be able to do any real harm. I do think that by winning this election, we're going to re-expose the ugliest aspects of this country, the color-haters who started to re-emerge last year during the immigration uproar. It has to be done, so they can be soundly beaten and chastized for being such dicks, but it'll be unpleasant for a while.

I felt weird this morning, and then I realized that it might be hope and optimism. It's going to take a while to get used to that.

Fucking Hypocrite

The latest way in which Sarah Palin has offended my intelligence and sense of fairness:

When asked Thursday night by NBC television presenter Brian Williams whether an abortion clinic bomber was a terrorist, Palin heaved a sigh and, at first, circumvented the question.

"There's no question that Bill Ayers by his own admittance was one who sought to destroy our US Capitol and our Pentagon. That is a domestic terrorist," Palin said, referring to a 1960s leftist who founded a radical violent gang dubbed the "Weathermen" -- and who years later supported Obama's first run for public office in the state of Illinois.

"Now, others who would want to engage in harming innocent Americans or facilities that it would be unacceptable to... I don't know if you're gonna use the word 'terrorist' there," the ardently pro-life running mate of John McCain said.

What this bitch "don't know" could fill a football stadium. "Unmitigated gall", that's the phrase that comes to mind with her. I kind of wish I could punch her in the mouth.

Ready to Rant

Okay, I think I'm sufficiently caffeinated this morning to give voice to the various things that have pissed me off in the last few days. Hold on tight.

• What is with all of the slow, oblivious people out there in the world? And why are they always driving or walking in front of me? I swear, this morning I stopped when pulling into my parking lot at work to let two people cross from their cars to the building, and they started walking down the parking lot IN FRONT OF MY CAR! Are the schools no longer teaching the "get the fuck out of my way" concept? Why does everyone seem to think that wherever they're going is more important than where I'm going and they're free to take their goddamn time about it? Or is it that they're not thinking? It's not just cell phone users, it's people who are ostensibly doing nothing other than walking/driving, and yet are still completely oblivious to their surroundings and how their sluggishness is impacting ME and dragging down the productivity of our country.
  
• I'm so sick of hearing these "socialism" digs being thrown at Barack. Hey, guess what Republican idiots--socialism is GOOD! Spread the fucking wealth around and maybe you'll be spared when the revolution comes. We could do a lot worse than to move ever so slightly in the direction that Europe has over the last 50 years. I'm going to wear my hammer & sickle CCCP t-shirt to the polls next week just to see if I can piss someone off.
  
• And if anybody out there STILL thinks that Sarah Palin is just "one of the regular folks", you're a moron. As if it wasn't obvious enough before that she was simply pandering to the stupid mouthbreathing droolers who go to her rallies before NASCAR events, now we learn that the campaign has spent over $150,000 on her wardrobe to make her look like a "regular person". Look, walk the fucking talk or shut the fuck up. If she was really committed to supporting Joe the Plumber and Madge the Target Clerk and Bubba the Turd Miner, she would have made the campaign buy her clothes at Target or Wal-Mart or somewhere that normal people shop. I've noticed they've been making her wear her hair down lately, instead of that ridiculous bun on top of her head that she started with. But she's still just barely a notch below Cindy McCain (she of the $300,000 Convention wardrobe). Honestly, how can she stand there in a thousand-dollar suit from Neimann-Marcus and talk about how she feels at home among people in Carhartts and trucker hats? Shouldn't she be bursting into flames right about now if her beliefs are to be believed?
  
• And people who are still undecided... I just don't know what to say. Katia sent us a fabulous excerpt from a David Sedaris article in the New Yorker (which I'm eager to read tonight):
  

  I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?
  
  To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
  
  To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
  

  
  As always, you need go no further than the Daily Show to find a perfect portrayal of the issue.
  
  
• Hang on a second, there was something else pissing me off... oh well, I'm sure it'll come to me. Thanks for listening.