The Death of Expectations
We decided to start watching Mad Men this season. Very interesting show. Wish we had watched the first season, there are still some gaps in our background, but the period setting and attitudes are quite engrossing.
This past week's episode featured a line that Diana and I loved so much we keep talking about it again and again. When talking about her somewhat inscrutable and dickish boss, the more-than-meets-the-eye Peggy Olson (props for them spelling the name the right way) says:
Stop.
Go back.
Read it again.
Isn't that one of the best attitudes you've ever heard? Seriously, how could anyone ever argue with that? Expecting someone to be anything that they are NOT is simply pointless. People are who they are. They may evolve and change over time, they may stay exactly the same, but at any moment in time, they are themselves and to ask or expect anything else is unfair to all.
How much aggravation and arguing and heartache could people save if they simply learned to accept each other for who they are? Accepting doesn't mean agreeing with or liking, but it means accepting that it's not your place to demand a change or to make someone feel like they should be something else. How many of our country's and world's problems could be solved if people could learn to simply accept?
The people in my life who are true friends are the ones who have always accepted me for simply me, better and worse, and to whom I owe no explanation. They accept me, I accept them, we expect nothing more than to be ourselves. People who start to place expectations on me will quickly find themselves on the bottom of my list.
It's ironic this line came up this week, since over the last few months, I've been thinking more and more about how comfortable I am allowing myself to be free of people's expectations. I'm learning more and more to simply not give a shit about what people expect, or what they may think of my choices, and it feels damn good. I know my darling wife has patiently nudged me in that direction for many years, and as usual, she was right.
So ponder that line when you have a few free minutes. I can't imagine you'll find any argument with it.
One of my favorite songs ever is "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, who died far too young. I listened to it today and thought I would post it in case anyone else wanted to listen. Ironically, one of the videos for the song I found on Youtube was a tribute to Heath Ledger, who also died far too young. We saw The Dark Knight this weekend, and he was amazing in it. So listen to a good song and feel a little sad for Heath.
This past week's episode featured a line that Diana and I loved so much we keep talking about it again and again. When talking about her somewhat inscrutable and dickish boss, the more-than-meets-the-eye Peggy Olson (props for them spelling the name the right way) says:
"I never expect him to be any other way than what he is."
Stop.
Go back.
Read it again.
Isn't that one of the best attitudes you've ever heard? Seriously, how could anyone ever argue with that? Expecting someone to be anything that they are NOT is simply pointless. People are who they are. They may evolve and change over time, they may stay exactly the same, but at any moment in time, they are themselves and to ask or expect anything else is unfair to all.
How much aggravation and arguing and heartache could people save if they simply learned to accept each other for who they are? Accepting doesn't mean agreeing with or liking, but it means accepting that it's not your place to demand a change or to make someone feel like they should be something else. How many of our country's and world's problems could be solved if people could learn to simply accept?
The people in my life who are true friends are the ones who have always accepted me for simply me, better and worse, and to whom I owe no explanation. They accept me, I accept them, we expect nothing more than to be ourselves. People who start to place expectations on me will quickly find themselves on the bottom of my list.
It's ironic this line came up this week, since over the last few months, I've been thinking more and more about how comfortable I am allowing myself to be free of people's expectations. I'm learning more and more to simply not give a shit about what people expect, or what they may think of my choices, and it feels damn good. I know my darling wife has patiently nudged me in that direction for many years, and as usual, she was right.
So ponder that line when you have a few free minutes. I can't imagine you'll find any argument with it.
One of my favorite songs ever is "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, who died far too young. I listened to it today and thought I would post it in case anyone else wanted to listen. Ironically, one of the videos for the song I found on Youtube was a tribute to Heath Ledger, who also died far too young. We saw The Dark Knight this weekend, and he was amazing in it. So listen to a good song and feel a little sad for Heath.
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