A Bandwagon Jumper Am I

I just read an article in last week's Sports Illustrated by Steve Rushin about jumping on the bandwagon. I've never had a very high opinion of sports fans who jump onto teams after they've started winning, but I'm less harsh on other bandwagon jumpers--bands, movies, TV shows, all those are things that I think are okay to jump on late in the game. I hate hipsters who only think something is cool while there are like 3 people who know about it, and as soon as something becomes widely liked, it's no longer cool.

Any way, long roundabout way of saying I am jumping on the Festivus bandwagon this year. In case you don't know, Festivus is an alternative holiday celebration most well known from its appearance on a 1997 episode of Seinfeld. Although I'm sure the writers never intended to create a cultural phenomenon, there's something to the basic concept--Festivus is a response to being disgusted by the commercialization and greed of Gift-mas (generously called Christmas). I've found myself this year finally reaching a point where I've just had it with the status quo of the "Christmas season", and I'm choosing to do something about it.

Let's get something straight. I used to love Christmas. We were never a religious family, and although my mom always had a manger scene under the tree, it was not a religious holiday for us in any way. It was about our own little traditions, and about gift-giving. But the traditions were really the more important thing for me. I think especially after losing my dad, I found a great deal of comfort in knowing that every year, there was structure and ritual to be found in putting up our decorations, listening to the music, watching the movies, all the little things that made it feel like Christmas. Well, as things do, it changed when I left home. I found it hard to maintain the same feelings being in California in shorts in December, but flying home for Christmas break became a comforting thing in itself--I still love being in airports at the holidays, because it creates that sensation of coming home to something known and comfortable. But then even that faded away, as I began spending Christmases in California. After we got married, Diana and I talked about what our shared traditions would be, and we came to realize that Christmas itself (especially CHRISTmas vs. Xmas) meant very little to either of us. Our cats managed to make a Christmas tree an impossibility, and in recent years, we've started to see decorating as pretty just a lot of bother. I think that if we do have kids, and they want to celebrate Christmas, we'll do whatever they want. But for just us, eh, who cares? And since we've pretty much divorced ourselves from all family except my mom, we're free of obligations to celebrate in ways we wouldn't choose.

Now because my wife loves presents, we've maintained the gift-giving aspect. I love buying and giving gifts to her, although I should do it more often and randomly, rather that just on certain days. So this year, having purchased several things for her early, I decided that I didn't feel like waiting and gave her a couple of presents last week. I went online and found a bunch of days in December that we can celebrate instead of Christmas as an excuse to give presents (Indiana's Statehood Day, Frank Sinatra's Birthday, Festivus, etc).

What we agreed our theme for 2006 would be is to only do things that we really WANT to do. No more obligations, no more pretending or playing along, no more compromising our preferences for cultural or societal norms or for anybody else. Now that sounds sort of selfish, but I don't really care. Who's bending over backwards to accomodate us? Who's making sacrifices and compromises for us? Maybe my mom, who's always willing to come dogsit for us. But other than that, I don't see people making any sort of effort on our behalf. So we're going to create our own happiness. And step one for now is to chuck this Christmas thing.

What really pushed me over the edge today was several people in a row (one in a shop, a couple on the radio) talking about shopping and how they weren't done and how they had SO much to do. And everywhere you turn, people just talk about what a hassle Christmas shopping is and how they're sick of it. I know I'm not the first one to point this out, but that hardly seems like the point of Christmas. So everybody feels obligated to buy gifts and waste money that none of us really can afford to spend just because... why again? Because Jesus said so? Hardly. Because other people are buying YOU a gift? Partly. Because it's just what you do? EXACTLY! Well, fuck that. That's stupid. I mean, just. plain. stupid. I want no part of that. I want to actively RAIL against it. I'm going to make a point of telling every person who asks me about shopping how I feel about it. I'm done playing along. I'm done being a sheep.

Here's something scary--I actually find myself partly agreeing with Bill O'Reilly and his idiotic rant on Christmas. He's still a total douchebag, but the whole neutering of CHRIST-mas and homogenization of the holidays into one bland shopping spree is ridiculous. Saying "Merry Christmas" to someone is not offensive. Christmas is a Christian holiday, regardless of its origins.

I'm not a Christian. I believe there was a man named Jesus Christ who lived about 2000 years ago and had some cool ideas that he preached to people. Sort of the Eddie Izzard concept. Personally, I don't think he was the son of God or anything mystical or special beyond a charismatic man with a good message. And he definitely was not born on December 25th. But for pretty obvious reasons, Christian leaders in the 4th century co-opted existing Roman and Druidic festivals and used them to help convert/subvert the "pagans" into being Christians. The traditions currently celebrated are an inextricable amalgam of Christian, "pagan" and created things. The important point is that it means something different to everyone. And that's just fine. People should feel free to celebrate the holiday(s) in whatever way they see fit, regardless of whether it's accurate or not. That's freedom of religion, or speech, or whatever.

So I don't have a problem with Christmas as a religious holiday, and I don't have a problem with Xmas/Giftmas as a secular holiday, no more than I have a problem with Ramadan, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or any other holiday one might celebrate. I just have come to realize that I don't really care. The day of December 25th is basically just a Sunday to me this year. A day to be home with my family and enjoy a relaxing day by the fire. That's all. I'm not going to pretend I give a rat's ass about any other part of it.

Yes, I bought presents for my wife and my mom and my little nephew, but that'll be it. Along with my coworkers, we bought gifts for a family in need as we do every year, to be given anonymously. That felt good, knowing we were going to make two little girls who have had a rough time happy for at least one day. Way better than buying something from someone's list just because you're supposed to.

I must say, I feel great having made this self-declaration. It's liberating. I'll listen to Christmas music for the next few weeks, I'll still watch "A Christmas Story", "Christmas Vacation" and "Trading Places" like I do every year. I'll do what makes me happy, and what makes Diana happy. Like my lighted moose in the front yard. He makes me happy.

Speaking of bandwagons, we've jumped on the Dane Cook bandwagon. I'd heard about him but hadn't checked him out till SNL last week, and he made us laugh so hard. We listened to his CDs while sitting in holiday traffic yesterday, and ended up laughing so hard we cried. He's just a funny son of a B, so check it out.